One of the most common sentences I hear from clients is: “I feel like I deserve to eat _______ (insert desired food)”
To me this rings alarm bells about a woman’s relationship to food.
When we are trying to lose weight there is one thing I know for sure – your relationship to food determines your long term success.
Now what on Earth do I mean by “relationship to food”. I’m talking about the thoughts, feelings, beliefs and associations around food. Your mindset. The foundation of every behavior and habit that you have.
So what do I think of when I hear the words “deserve” and “food” in the same sentence. The real thing that I hear is “My self-worth is based upon what I eat”. Meaning your confidence and self- respect is based upon what you eat or how much you weigh. The word “deserve” means to do something, have or show qualities worthy of a reaction which rewards or punishes as appropriate. Now a healthy relationship with food has nothing to do with rewarding or punishing. One of the most key issues with those having trouble maintaining their weight is that they see food as a reward.
“I’ve been a good girl today so I deserve this chocolate”
So what do I mean about a healthy relationship to food? Does that mean I don’t get to eat chocolate?
Absolutely not! I love chocolate. But chocolate elicits no emotion for me – it’s just chocolate. It’s something that tastes good, yes. But doesn’t satisfy me if I’m hungry. It is something I eat occasionally in small portions, and getting satisfied when I’m hungry is more about having a decent meal. What does it mean when you can polish off the whole block then? It means you are eating for the reward. You have a relationship to the chocolate or other food that needs to be changed in order to be able to control your portions.
So what would it mean for you to “deserve” the chocolate? Would it mean that if you were skinny or lean then you would deserve to eat chocolate? Or if you have been eating “good” foods all week then you get to eat chocolate?
The problem with only deserving chocolate when you have been good or when you are lean is that when you have the mindset of deserving chocolate it means you see it as a reward. Guess what we love the most – to be rewarded. It’s human nature to want to feel rewarded! I’ve had a hard day at work I need a reward. Food as a reward though makes it incredibly difficult to maintain a constant weight because our moods go through so many fluctuations over weeks and months and if food is a reward it most definitely will need to be consumed more when we feel depleted.
The other thing is that when you eat chocolate at a time that you don’t deem yourself “worthy” of having the chocolate – you feel guilty. Guess what you seek when you feel guilty? Something that elicits pleasure or makes you feel better! Which if food is a reward then you will suddenly develop more of an appetite for food!
The other thing is that when you see the chocolate as “bad” and you tell yourself not to eat it – now suddenly this food has this increased “allure” about it. We tend to want what we can’t have right?
Questions to ask yourself or journal on are:
- Do I feel as though I am being judged for eating chocolate
- When would I see myself as worthy of being able to eat chocolate/food
- What does it mean for you to deserve the chocolate/food
- If you were at your ideal body weight/fat how would you eat differently?
The babes that I have been coaching are getting great shifts in their mindsets and experiencing less desire to overeat! If you want this to be you I have one spot left for Jan 2018 coaching! If you want to change your life permanently and lose weight forever I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me to discuss my recommendations —>http://bit.ly/2me3xPQ
Alternatively you can look at getting the online course and a quick acting bonus is that you get a free 1:1 60 mins coaching session with me when you pay in full!!
Love to you babe
Barb xoxo
No Diet Babe
